


Whispers in Whiskey

by inthemadness



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loss of Virginity, M/M, POV First Person, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad, Sadism, Smut, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 13:26:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2653586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inthemadness/pseuds/inthemadness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joseph's POV: Sebastian is completely lost in Ruvik's world and he drowns himself in alcohol to find some sort of a numbness to his constant pain. His partner Joseph is his last life line, a connection to the old way of life. A constant for him and an anchor to protect in this asylum, but is that what he really thinks? TRIGGER WARNINGS: Rape, Violence, Alcoholism, Mentions of Suicide</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Flask Decisions

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo this is my first serious fic ever and my first on Ao3. The Evil Within is my current obsession and I wrote smut. With bad themes. Cause I'm not the most goody two shoes ever. Well Just a warning this is a triggering fic. I will write fluffy ficlets but this one is going to be major and heatbreakingly serious.

The outside world was cold. It smelled of rot and blood and monsters roamed wherever they pleased. Most of them were much stronger than I was. I shake at the thought of facing them again but that was our lot. Fighting until the damage was dealt to the heads of every single monster in this place long forgotten by god. I was starting to question if any of it was actually real.  
I glance to my right and see Sebastian, limping and tired. Probably drunk too. I hated how he escaped into a flask whenever he thought about his wife and daughter. It's been too long. He's been without sleep for probably a week or however long we've actually been here.  
“Hey, maybe we should find a place to stop for now. Just for an hour or two so you can sleep.” I suggest weakly.  
Neither of us had talked in hours. We only avoided the monstrosities in our path and shot when necessary. Bullets were few and far between in this wasteland.  
“Uh... Sure I guess. Sleep doesn't sound bad. Whiskey sounds better.” Sebastian grunted and started striding ahead towards one of the abandoned cells. He grabbed a squealing wheelchair from the hallway and dragged it into one of the rooms ahead. I followed quickly and closed the door behind me.  
The space was small. It could probably fit one more bed if you really tried. Right now it worked for him and that was fine. He pushed the chair toward me and nodded at the door. I put the edge of the chair under the doors handle. It didn't seem very sturdy but it would hold for at least a while.  
Sebastian plopped down on the worn bloodstained cot in the corner of the room and started rubbing his temples. He was a complete mess head to toe. Covered in blood and gel head to toe, 2 weeks worth of stubble and the seemingly permanent stink of alcohol.  
“What are we doing here Oda? Why is everything out to get us?” Sebastian reached for his flask again, “I swear every time I shoot the ones in masks it might be her. I just-”  
He took a swig of whiskey from the shining metal. Maybe he mistook them for his dreams? His hands covered his face just enough so I couldn't see the look of despair creeping over his scarred face.  
“She's fine. I know she can handle herself here. Wherever here is.” I lean against the wall near the bed, trying to keep my distance.  
He doesn't acknowledge me. He only curls farther into himself. That's not happening. Not here. I push him on to the bed and toss his flask across the room.  
“You don't get to do this! Stop having a pity party in your makeshift bar! She's missing, yes, we're in some kind of hell, yes, we need to survive, yes, we need to drink away our issues, NO! I need you sober to shoot! I can only swing this axe for so long and I need you! You're my partner and we're in this nightmare together so help me out a little! Shut up, stop crying, and don't you dare go near that flask! Do you understand me?” I'm livid at this point and all he can do is stare at me, “Castellanos! Do you understand?”  
“Uh...” He glances downward for a moment.  
I somehow ended up fully on his lap, slightly choking him with his necktie. He's completely red and half hard. So am I. I push off from him and cross the room, avoiding eye contact. I quickly unbutton my gloves and stick them in my pocket. I can't stand having them on when my whole body feels like it's on fire. I'm hyperventilating. All the energy I just mustered against this pitiful rugged man is still coursing though me like rapids. I can't even think straight. I turn to him to say something, anything at all, but nothing happens. My mouth moves awkwardly and I run my hand though my hair, noticing that I'm starting to sweat. Although from day one on the force he'd be lying to himself if he didn't say he thought Sebastian was really attractive. The way he crossed his arms which pulled his clothes tight to his body. The way he smelled of nicotine and cologne all the time. The way his face ticked into a smirk when finishing up paperwork at the end of a case. Goddamn it. This is my partner. Professional and nothing more. I try to straighten myself up but I stumble on a piece of drywall laying on the dirty ground.  
Sebastian has not moved this entire time. The flask felt almost empty when I threw it. Maybe he was too drunk to move. Maybe he was too drunk to speak. I was so embarrassed I could barley move. Sebastian sits up slowly and looks at me in a way I haven't seen before.  
“You're okay. Sit with me. I was an ass and I'm sorry. You're fine Joseph.” He scoots closer to the edge of the cot and leans back on his hands.  
“No I'm not okay Sebastian. I crossed a line and I'm sorry. I'm a fuck up of a human being. I-i should just go patrol.” I start to pull my gloves back on and get to the door before I'm twisted around and I see Sebastian.  
He kissed me hard and fast. He stunk of alcohol and he was overly desperate. I didn't reciprocate at first but slowly I let myself trust and melt into him. He was so warm in a cold dark world and all I wanted to do was hide in him. Let myself be one with him. So I started to kiss him back. The guilt in the back of my mind was overwhelming but right now I could care so much less. When he started this bliss who was I to deny him.  
He started working on my vest buttons with trembling fingers, probably because he could barely see them. I tossed my gloves away and helped him. Easily my waistcoat fell away onto the clumps of dirt and blood littering the floor. Soon after so did the rest of my clothes. Through a mess of clashing teeth and wild grabs I couldn’t tell what was thrown off of me first. I was bare from the waist up.  
I grab Sebastian by the collar and slam him against the wall. He faintly reacts and tries to come after me again but I simply can't let him get off so easily. I put a finger to his mouth as I trail down, button by button, undressing him. I try to be slow about it but I can't hold back anymore. Years of dreaming and this is real.  
I put his holsters on the wheelchair holding the door closed. I rub my hands down his solid chest. He was like a marble statue in the way his body and mind were sculpted. A Greek god of a man and he was all mine to take in this moment. Finally I'm able to push his waistcoat and shirt away to join the rest of my clothing on the floor. I get on my knees and kiss just about the waistline of his pants, tugging softly on the zipper. He's starting to buck and squirm and in that moment I can see his control slip away. Suddenly I'm nervous.  
He grabs me by the shoulders and throws me across the room. My back hits the wall and I start to slide down but he grabs my face and kisses me again, this time for no one but himself. I hear his zipper go all the way down and before I knew it he was tugging my pants down.  
“Off, now.” was all he said in between breaths.  
I put my hands on his chest trying to push him away enough to get them off but he wasn't having that. I try to get them but to no avail. Sebastian throws me again but onto the cot and almost rips my clothes off me.  
Now he's on top of me, completely lost in his lust. How long has he wanted this? As long as I have? Did he give me the same sideways glaces I would give to him every minute I could?  
My legs went up faster than I could blink. He started to line himself up to me and my nerves shot through the roof.  
“Sebastian- wait please I nee-” Without any warning he started thrusting into me like an animal. The pain was so excruciating and I felt like I was being ripped apart piece by piece. My mind was filled with solid white noise prickling all my senses in all the wrong places. I let out a full scream which I'm sure he couldn't hear through all his grunts and groans. He was too far gone to even look at me. I could barley see through the tears in my eyes. This was the worst pain I've ever felt aside from being shot.  
“St- Stop i-” I could barley speak through the sobs. “Se-seb-”.  
“Shhhhhhh M- I've g- got you.” Sebastian slurred as he started to go faster.  
“No. Ple- ease” I struggle against him as best I can without hurting myself more.  
I try to raise my hands against him but he has me pinned solid with his hands. Squirming does nothing because he's at least 60 pounds heavier than I am. I try to yell and curse him out but I can't produce much of any sound. What I could do was groan and whimper like a kicked puppy and nothing more. No matter how much I protested his lust was too much to stop. I lifted my head slightly and saw the bloodstains on the mattress. Funny I didn't remember those from before.  
My world started to spin and go dark. I couldn't feel below my waist after while. Then I stopped struggling. A while after that I stopped crying. I felt totally numb. The only thing I felt was love for Sebastian. Through all this pain, I still feel love for him. The pounding in and out matched my heart beat. I felt like a part of him and his cracked marble mind. My Greek god showing me my true limits in mortality. He's the beautiful miracle that I suffered for. He'll be mine forever.  
Soon everything went black and I could only feel the sweat from his face fall on my bare chest. The sound of his heavy strangled breath with every thrust into me. I felt nothing but him. I heard only him.  
“M- I'm go- nna” Sebastian moaned into my ear, reckless and crude.  
I could feel the speed picking up as he gripped my shoulders tight for leverage. I couldn't move or respond at this point my body wanted to stop this madness and shut down completely. The last thing I heard before my memory fades was.  
“M- Myra.”


	2. Where did we go wrong?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath with a look into the past and questions left unanswered

The cot was still warm but I was freezing. I raised my head slightly and looked down at myself although I can barely see because of the dried tears on my glasses. It was a sight that I had never seen before. I was horrifying. Blood clung to my legs and I was filthy from head to toe. My body aches and I involuntarily shake causing me to groan at the residual pain. I can barely remember what happened. I try to sit up but I let out a yell instead. My lower half feels like it's been ripped up from the inside. I'm in so much pain. I hear a small sob come from the across the room.  
I look to the door and Sebastian is occupying the wheelchair. The guns are littered around the floor and he's covered in more blood than I remember. He's holding a glass bottle that's half empty and he has a broken needle stuck in his arm.   
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, I'm sorry.” Sebastian chants as he wrings his hands around the bottle nervously avoiding eye contact.  
He sees that I'm staring at him and he drops the bottle and it shatters and spills the remaining liquid with the mess on the floor. He steps over the glass and goes to grab whatever clothes of mine he could find. Frantically, he searches and blood drips from his forearm at a steady pace. It looks like he found everything but my waistcoat, from what I can faintly see.  
He steps carefully and with purpose, still chanting his apologies. When he gets closer to me I can see how anxious he feels in his stature and expression. He's sincere about what he's done, though I can't remember much of the whole ordeal. Obviously I didn't inflict what I'm feeling upon my self. Right?  
When he gets to the bedside I start to scoot up slowly but I wince with every small movement. He's still chanting and his eyes look so far away even though he's looking straight at me now. I can prop myself up on my elbow just enough to reach for his forearm.  
“It's okay, Sebastian. I'll be okay soon.” I try to turn closer to him but I wince in pain, “J-just help me right now. Okay?”  
“Okay, okay. Tell me if I hurt you.” The words seemed to sting him as he uttered them.  
His face reflected the agony his mind was pressing upon him. He's kept that expression locked away for awhile. The day I saw him broken came rushing back to me. The first time I saw it was when he was having issues with Myra and stayed on my couch for a few days, he tried to call her every night, of course he was drunk off his ass and Myra was worried about him coming home.   
For a week he was seemingly lost in alcohol from 9am till whenever he found it fit to pass out. At the end of the week he left the office a half an hour before I did. When I finished all the paperwork and came home he had a 6 pack of beer, 2 of which were bone dry, and he was slumped against the front door. His keys and jacket were on the opposite side of the hallway, probably thrown in utter frustration that he couldn't see the lock well enough to get in the door. I dropped my coat on the floor next to him and situated myself on to his level.   
The torment was etched into his features. Line by line his face told a story and god only knows how many chapters there were. I got his lighter and a cigarette out of his coat pocket and lit it for him. I never condoned him smoking but I understood he needed it. He reached out for it gingerly but I just stuck it in his mouth because I knew he would drop it.  
“Seb, go home.” I said with a forced smile.  
“Home?” He replied in a gruff broken voice, “Does she even want me home? I'm dangerous and reckless and everything else. She hates me Joseph. I try my best to be strong for her but I see Lily whenever I look at her beautiful face and I can't help it. You must hate me too huh? I'm a failure and-”  
Joseph cut him off by taking the bottle from his hands and handing him a cell phone in the middle of a call. A picture of his wife was lit up on the screen and he started to cry. That was the first and only time I had seen him cry.  
I snapped back to reality as Sebastian tried to sit me upright and I felt the burning in my lower half again. He quickly pushed me back down on the mattress to try to fix his mistake, so he silently asked me to take off my glasses and tried to pull my still buttoned shirt over my head.  
“Here, let me see that,” I said in a diminutive voice.  
Slowly I unbuttoned the off white shirt, brushing off debris from the sleeves and back. Sebastian stood back and watched my movements with a concentrated intensity, like my motions gave him a sober state of mind. I now started to dress myself because I could move a slight bit more by myself. Sebastian just stood there looking guilty. After awhile of me being independent he simply handed me my gloves and asked if I needed anything, and with swift footsteps he was out the door again armed with the weapons in his arsenal. I heard a clink against the door and assumed he locked me in.  
Feeling confused and exhausted I let me head fall back against the cot, half dressed and filthy, I fell to sleep immediately with one question on my mind. What happened to us?


End file.
